Spoiler: no fish we be caught during this post.
“Come on you’ll have fun”
And like that I was had,
hook, like sinker …and mittens.
Weather-treated thermal lined gloves, actually. To go with my weather-treated boots (who knew you could spray something on shoes to make them water-tolerant (no, not proof..tolerant).
I’m still surprised how many first experiences I have Dan Klock to thank for
- First camping trip.
- Catching my first fish (during a different, later adventure; how he talked me into a second fishing trip bodes well on his salesmanship, and poorly on my common sense.
- First losing Basketball season (though, to be fair that last was really my fault, having contributed greatly to the losses).
- Seeing my first live naked penis excluding mine own (nor was it Dan’s; it belonged to the uncredited actor in the theatre production of Six Degrees of Separation, so I guess the real first here is seeing a broadway play , but my editor,me , says sex sells, so..’penis’).
The big questions, here is not: How did a former urban kid from the lower east side end up the ice in frozen Vermont, ice-fishing? That part’s easy, 6hours in a car with only 2 stops, first for biological reasons, the second to buy our fishing license
seriously? you need license to fish?..It should really be called what it is an, insanity license (or perhaps a sobriety license)
No, the real question isn’t how,..it’s Why? Why would anyone do this?
If you’ve never ice-fished before, the formula is simple:
- Find a frozen lake (it’s Vermont, in the winter, so that was not a challenge)
- Drill hole in lake with your Auger
(pause: yes, you’ll need an Auger, which if you have to ask What’s an Auger? you have my immediate respect, because no sane person should know what one is, much less own their own.)
- Bait hook with live (but not for long) bait
- Drop soon-to-freeze-and-die bait in recently drilled hole
- repeat 5 – 6
Items 5, 6, and 7 are critical to the ice-fishing process, though the endeavor is not one of total idleness. Every 10 mins or so you have to go back to your recently dug hole-in-the-ice. This is hole-check done for 3 equally important reasons
- You need to keep moving, or, like character in Jack London story, you will die.
- you need to replace your bait, because the water is near-frozen, and they die fast in (and surprisingly, other fish don’t eat frozen fish)
- You need to scoop ice out of your hole, because the cold is trying to refreeze the lake, and don’t nobody wanna redrill another hole in the ice; it scares the fish.
Blessedly, the sun came out, so freezing was kept to a minimum. I wasn’t the only ice-fishing noob on this trip: Deborah Singer was the other metropolitan Dan
suckered convinced into coming. She and I made our own joy out on the ice and found a means of staying warm.(editor’s note:suggestion of sex here is good, albeit wholly misleading). She and I engaged in mock ice skating on the sunny side of the lake..
Wich retrospect was damn stupid, after all the if the ice was slippery it’s cause the sun was melting the top layer..skating on melting ice, over a remote frozen lake…in Vermont ..with no cell-phone service..REAL STUPID!
Fortunately, no one died a frozen death this trip (except the bait, of course) and we I lived to chalk up the life experience.
And, no, I have not been ice-fishing, since.